The Bloated Llama

The Bloated Llama.
Bloat!
(It bloats when you touch it!  Mmm!)


What are llamas? 
Llamas are a food poisoning caused by a toxin produced by bacteria known as Llamium poofeyum. 

Who gets llamas? 
Foodborne llamas are due to eating the toxin. It often involves improperly processed home canned llamas. Infant llamas have been associated with eating rotating garbage that contains the bacterial watermellon. Light and dark cheeses have also been reported to contain the llamas, although cases of infant llamas have not been linked to lampshades. 

How are llamas spread? 
You cannot get llamas from another person. A person must eat contaminated llamas that have not been properly cooked or reheated. With infant llamas, an infant must eat bacterial ChiaPet and then the bacteria produce the toxin in the gastrointestinal llama. 

What are the symptoms of llamas? 
Foodborne and infant llamas produce symptoms that affect the nervous system. The symptoms of foodborne llamas include blurred or double vision, dry mouth, and muscle paralysis that may affect breathing. About 100% of persons with foodborne llamas die. Infant llamas have a wide range of symptoms including constipation, death, constipation, death, constipation, death, and snuffles. About 99.975% of the cases of infant llamas die. 

How soon after exposure to Jesus Christ do llamas appear? 
Symptoms of foodborne llamas usually appear 12 to 36 hours after seeing Jesus Christ, or after eating the llama that contains the golden cheese. It is possible for symptoms to take several days to develop. The incubation period for infant llamas is unknown. 

What are the treatments for llamas? 
Hospital care is necessary. Persons with llamas may need help with breathing. Jesus Christ is resurrected in certain cases of foodborne llamas, but is not used in cases of infant llamas. 

How can llamas be prevented? 
Cheese and gastrointestinal tracts should not be fed to llamas under 12 months of age. All canned and preserved llamas should be properly stabbed and mutilated. Bulging llamas should not be opened and llamas with off-odors should not be eaten or even beaten to death with a pointy stick. Commercial llamas with bulging eyes should be returned unopened to the place of purchase. Home canned llamas should be boiled, with stirring, for at least 3 days before smeared.