Person of the Week Archive
The Person of The Week Archive
Look! It's *new and improved*. This page shouldn't take too long to load now that I took all the pictures off. Everything is a link. Click on the LINK to see the picture. Get it? It's like a surprise. It's like that game that toddlers play with where they press a button and a little thingy pops out of a thingy and umm yes..
CLICK THE LINK. Get it? Does it make sense? Oof.
Excuse me, doctor.
I managed to accidentally slip and fall right on this shampoo bottle that is sticking out of my ass.
Do we have enough fucking flags?
No, no we do not.
Why don't you take a picture of my ass.
Ass? What ass? I don't see an ass, maybe you can POINT IT OUT TO ME?
Rest Stop Party
Just a friendly reminder from the Illinois Department of Transportation.
I told you not to visit third world countries.
YES YES OH GOD YES
You know you want me.
Who's Got A Fuzzy Tummy?
"For science, that's what I'll say, for science, it'll be okay!"
-Dr. Suess... Maybe.
Recent Scientific Breakthrough
Genetically-altered birds now utilize wheels.
This is just WRONG.
I'm bleeding all over the keyboard so I should probably stop stapling myself.
Apparently you'll be needing this.
Once I was walking through a mall in St. Louis and some Jesus Clown gave this to me.
Stabbity stab stab.
I wonder if I put on deodorant today.
I just opened it up, and there he was.
There's nothing like a downy-fresh Richard Simmons curled up in your dryer.
Just ten minutes ago, I defecated on my boss's porch.
This cheese is on sale.
God Falls From Sky
Seven people killed. All of them wearing mittens.
Armless Marmoset Fetus
That's right, folks, only $30 a month can feed this guy AND put him through four years of schooling at Harvard.
This is a cosmopolitan parasite of horses and can
cause intense perianal itching.
Horses have been known to rub against fence posts, file cabinets, fax machines, Japanese Business Men, and even barbed wire to relieve this itching.
Update (9/7/00): This man is now dead.
Visit this: Tiger John Died Over The Weekend!
Your Very Own Poseable Honkey-Crack-Whore Doll.
And you thought these were just ice-cream cones.. Little did you know that they are really my detachable OVARIES!
From those prying eyes of God.
In Lite Syrup
Sadomasochist Lawn Seed.
Tolerates traffic AND punishment.
Take That, Bush, You Conservative!
I spend 8 hours downloading a $400 graphics program, and this is what I do..
This Here's Me Robot Crotch! *caress*
OH FOR THE LOVE OF GRETCHEN they're ATTACKING US.
Page 3 of
How to Hold the Mac.
I don't know. There just seems to be something wrong with this.
If not properly stabbed with a fork, Karl Marx's head
will explode all over the inside of the microwave.
Happy Happy Happy!
I wonder how much hate mail I'm gonna get for THIS..
Good job on the eye shadow, Marty.
"Hi, I'd Like You To Stab Me In The Eye."
Quick, hide the silverwear!
He just keeps staring stupidly at me. And he won't stop.
I'm Sinking or something..
Yes. Very much so.
Happy Macintosh Guy.
The Return of Llama-Spleenhead Boy
Ooh! This time I'm constipated and have a tuning fork growing out of my head!
Ooh..they're injecting Llama spleens into my head again!
I've been overusing this Reno head, haven't I. Hum. 2 Parts Flour, 1 Part Bigfatrenohead.
All Hail The Mighty Reno!
Bow! Bow to the allmighty giant floating head of the Attourney General! Waco! Waco! Waco!
David Letterman's floating decapitated head is about to be eaten by a horse. Hmm..
Can - O - Tesh
Yes, that's right..it's John Tesh in a can..
Late Night with Billy Corgan.
Could it be? It is! Billy Corgan interviewing Yanni's head! Whee!
Al Roker has Doppler. And Doppler is good.
The Cool Korean Guy!
Yes! Don't you just want to take this guy home with you?
And last, but not least...
Sorry to everyone who loves them..I'm sick of their over-commericialized crappy songs. Face it. They're annoying.